Written By: Travis Richardson | @travis_richson
We've all been there, no matter how hard we try to forget it. Admittedly, I've been there more times than not. You are standing on the tee box. Golf ball is teed up to the perfect height. You have the correct club in hand, and all eyes are on you. You step up to the ball and take dead aim at the green. While all this is happening, you are already thinking ahead to the high-fives and trash talk after you sink the putt and walk away with a birdie.
But then it all goes horrifically wrong. The swing feels good, but at contact there's a shocking, ugly noise that alerts your playing partners to what you've just done. The ball weakly dribbles forward, barely clearing the junior tees. What can you possibly say to ease this embarrassment? As a self-proclaimed expert in making excuses to hide the fact that my golf game is less than perfect, allow me to share a few of my favorites with you.
I present the five best golf excuses to use after you top your tee shot.
1) Pretend It Didn't Happen
After you top your tee shot, twirl your club, say "That'll work", then start walking towards the ball for your next shot. Sometimes I mix it up and yell "Tiger!" while I twirl my club. That part is up to you.
2) Blame the ground (or air)
Immediately after topping your shot, look down at your shoes. Or up in the air at the nearest tree. Blaming your footing or the wind is a great way to push embarrassment off your shoulders and onto the golf course. "Tee box is slippery" is always a good thing to mutter under your breath (but loud enough for everyone to hear). Make sure you tip the groundskeeper before you leave for helping with your alibi.
3) Yell at your playing partner
As soon as your shot goes awry, internally you think about what to blame. Did you pick your head up? Was it a bad follow through? Instead, pick out on of your playing partners and accuse them of making noise during your backswing that threw off the rhythm. Let them know you are the bigger person though by accepting the result of your original shot. "Just don't let it happen again."
4) Wrong club choice
Even if you selected driver on a straight-line, 600-yard, Par 5, it's always an acceptable excuse to blame the club choice. The key is selling it. After the shot, look at the club face really closely. Pretend it's the first time ever looking at a club. Then look at where the ball went. Then back to the club. Shake your head and say "Knew I should've hit a hybrid".
5) Embrace it and set-up the hustle
Are you a scratch golfer? If you are, the topped ball sets-up a great opportunity the rest of the round. Maybe the bad shot will have your playing partners looking at your golf game in a different light. Now would be the time to double-down on your pre-round wager. It'll work even better if you wait till they hit their great tee shot.
